Safe In Your Heart

Italics denote a Flashback

‘Oh, hell,’ Orlando muttered.

Addie looked up about to ask what the problem was and saw him blushing. BLUSHING? Suddenly it struck her too and her face turned red as well.

‘Be right back, luv,’ he excused himself, retreating toward the kitchen.

Viggo and Jimmy looked up when Orlando came tearing in; Viggo spoke up first, ‘shorts on fire, kid?’ Orlando just shook his head mutely.

‘Addie. . . bath . . . no girls . . . ,’ he stammered. Jimmy and Viggo looked at each other, back at Orlando, then down the hall toward Addie’s room.

‘Aw shit!’ Jimmy muttered, standing. ‘Lando, think we could get a local girl to help out?’

Viggo answered first, ‘Do you think that would be wise, given his identity, and the fact that there is a girl here we are trying to keep hidden from the media?’

Orlando didn’t answer either man, instead taking a cell phone from his pocket. ‘Sam? Hi luv, think you could help your brother out of a little jam?’ He listened for a moment, then retorted, ‘what in bloody hell do you mean ANOTHER one? ’ Viggo and Jimmy looked at each other and laughed. ‘Well sister, DEAR, I DO have a girl in trouble, but NOT like that. My mate’s sister Addie–you remember Jimmy? The guy I told you ‘bout a couple months ago–well his sister is paralysed, and we’ve no one to bathe her, change her clothes, or tend to any of her. . . ah, personal, needs.’ Orlando rolled his eyes as she replied and said sarcastically, ‘yeah, THAT kind of trouble.’ He listened again, and signed off with, ‘Thank you Sam. Let me know your flight info and Vig will pick you up and bring you to the property.’

He turned to the guys and told them she was coming, but couldn’t get there until the next day. ‘But I know she needs care today, so I guess I’ll go see what she wants in the meantime,’ Orlando said. Jimmy and Viggo agreed, and both said they were willing to help if she asked for either of them.

‘Hey luv,’ Orlando said, sliding into her room. He went over to the bed and sat down next to her, so that she could still see his face. ‘My sister Sam is coming tomorrow to help take care of you while you need it. But what do you want to do for today? Any one of us can help you, or I’m sure the nurse could return for a bit. . .’ His voice trailed off when he saw tears in her eyes. Cupping her cheeks with his hands, he turned her face toward him, and thumbed away her tears. ‘Hey now, luv. What’s this for?’

She started sobbing, and for the second time in as many days, he found himself holding her in his arms. He let her go briefly, climbed onto the bed with his back against the headboard, and pulled her up into his arms, so she leant back against his chest. Still sobbing, she exploded, ‘I HATE being paralysed, I can’t care for myself, I can’t bathe or change, or eat when I want, or go to the bathroom, I can’t roll over in bed, I can’t do ANYTHING!’

Jimmy poked his head in, in response to her anguished cries and shouting. ‘Everything okay?’ he inquired. Orlando waved him off, but Addie had heard him.

‘NO! It’s NOT okay! I hate this, this is NOT a LIFE, I wish I were dead!’

Jimmy retreated down the hall, and Orlando pulled her closer, soothing her as best he could, stroking her hair, and letting her cry herself out. He rested his cheek on top of her head, his heart torn by her grief.

Finally, she stopped sobbing, and took a deep, shuddering breath. ‘I’m sorry,’ she whispered.

‘For what luv? Grieving for what you lost? Don’t apologise; in light of everything you’ve gone through in the last couple days, I’m surprised you have held up as well as you have. You are a strong, and remarkable, woman, Addie.’

She met his eyes, and her breath caught. For several heartbeats, they stared into each other’s eyes, before Addie broke the gaze and looked away. Orlando ached to kiss her, pictured brushing his lips across hers, softly and gently, but knew the time was not right. With a sigh, she spoke, ‘I think I’m just going to go back to sleep now. I’ll call you when I wake up.'

He shifted, laying her back against the pillows, and pulled the sheet up, tucking it around her shoulders. ‘Sleep well, angel,’ and with a kiss to her forehead, left her to her thoughts.

Addie didn’t sleep, couldn’t sleep. She didn’t want this kind of life; she had always been so active, riding horses, archery, mountain climbing, she loved it all. With a shuddering sigh she poured her heart out to God. Tears and anger flowed, words spilled out, anguished and frightened.

‘Why God? Why have you forsaken me? I did so much good for You, at the Church and in the community; how can I do that now? What good am I with a broken body? I can’t do anything I used to, I can’t do anything at ALL! DAMMIT WHY DID YOU DO THIS TO ME?!’ She couldn’t form words after than, the sobs seized her chest, preventing words. Exhausted mentally now, as well as physically, she dropped into a troubled sleep.

Out in the hall, Orlando fought tears himself. He’d heard every word of Addie’s anguished pleas, her tirade at the Father she felt had forsaken her. He walked into the sitting room and dropped heavily onto the sofa, next to Viggo.

‘How is she?’ he asked.

‘Tormented. She thinks God’s deserted her. She feels useless, and it’s taking a toll on her. The worst part is that there isn’t a damn thing I can do about it.’

‘Perhaps not, but you can be there for her. She needs support, and lots of it. I can visit with her, as can Jimmy, but when you walk into the room, her eyes light up. It’s you she likes to see, thus you that can best help her with this.’

‘But how? What can I do?’

‘Talk to her, tell her jokes, hug her, bring her outside to the beach. Carry her into the sea if she wishes.’

Orlando pulled his legs up, and wrapped his arms around his knees, resting his chin on his knees. He appeared to be pondering what Viggo had told him. With a nod and a mumbled thanks he stood. He appeared to have made a decision.

He strode to Addie’s room and, without knocking, opened the door. She looked over in surprise.

‘What are you doing in here? I thought I told you I wanted to sleep.’

‘What you MEAN is that you wanted to have a pity party. No dice, cos if there is a party in this house, I’m the one throwing it.’ She opened her mouth to try and speak but he cut her off with a glare as he continued, ‘You have two choices, I can bring you outside on the deck, or I can bring you to the beach by the sea.’

‘What if I choose neither,’ she shot back angrily.

‘Then I choose for you,’ he shot back scooping her up in his arms, ignoring her protests.

‘PUT ME DOWN!’ Addie screamed. ‘Viggo, do something,’ shrieked Addie.

‘Gladly,’ said Viggo, standing. Walking over to the door, he swung it open, allowing Orlando free exit.

They reached the deck, and Orlando paused. ‘Look, if you don’t stop shrieking, you are going to attract attention that neither of us wants. I’m not going to sit around and let you drown yourself in pity, I care too much about you to see that happen.’

Addie’s jaw gaped at his last sentence, and her eyes met his. Before he knew what he was doing, he muttered, ‘Oh, bugger it!’ and dropped his face to hers. The first kiss was more of a question than a statement, gentle and sweet. His arms grew tired, so he sat down on the chaise lounge, and pulled her close. Looking deeply into her eyes, he kissed her again, groaning as her lips parted, allowing him to seek out her tongue with his. When his tongue met hers, she gasped, and startled him from his reverie. He broke the kiss and pulled back, looking into her eyes, searching her face.

‘Addie, I. . . um,’ started Orlando.

‘Don’t you DARE, Orlando Bloom! Don’t you DARE apologise for kissing me!’ Addie stated fiercely.

Her vehemence shocked him, and he closed his mouth, and pressed a kiss to her forehead. Addie dropped her head back, inviting him to kiss her again.

‘Addie, god, angel, you’re playing with fire.’

‘What are you going to do about it?’

Orlando groaned in defeat, and recaptured her lips.

Neither of them heard the footsteps behind them, or the click of a camera shutter.

The photographer sneaked off as quietly as he had arrived, grinning from ear to ear. His boss was going to be very happy with the photos; he was certain that they would clearly show both faces. He hurried to the airport, eager not to be recognised. He was unaware that he was being closely observed.

Back at the house, Orlando had carried a very sleepy Addie to her bedroom, and laid her down. He brushed a soft kiss across her lips, and whispered a sleep well to her. Addie was sound asleep before he had left the room.

He turned to head down the hall and to the sitting room, but ran into Jimmy instead. Jimmy put a finger to his lips and pointed to the sitting room. A bemused Orlando followed him silently. Sitting down, Orlando looked up at Jimmy expectantly.

‘We have a potential problem. Viggo called, he saw someone he is certain is a celebrity photographer. He was leaving in a hurry, and looking, as Vig put it, “like the cat that got the canary.”’

‘Bloody hell!’ Orlando swore. ‘Addie and I were outside on the deck earlier. Um, kissing.’

Jimmy studied Orlando, secretly pleased that the two seemed to be hitting it off. The probable security breach worried him, especially with Frank running around loose. Pulling out his cell phone, he dialed a number from memory. When the other person answered, Jimmy explained what had happened and asked that he ‘be taken care of’ at customs. After listening to the reply he signed off.

Turning back to Orlando, Jimmy spoke quietly. ‘A friend of mine is going to track this flight and, using a picture Viggo found online, the photographer. When he comes through customs, he will be pulled aside and film and camera equipment examined, for ‘security reasons.’ This will be done outside of his presence, and the film he is carrying destroyed. This of course only destroys any film they can find. He will be informed that if any pictures taken on this trip are so much as developed, he will have serious professional problems in the future. There is no guarantee that they won’t show up though, especially if he hands off the film before he goes through customs. We need to find out who hired him though—a newspaper, or a private person. Puzzled, Orlando asked why that was necessary. ‘A private person,’ repeated Jimmy, ‘such as Frank. I don’t see it as likely that he would hire a photographer, but I could easily see him hiring a private detective who in turn employed the photographer. It’s a long shot, but it has to be considered.

‘Furthermore, I have hired a security team from Gavin de Becker’s firm. There will be twelve guards on premises at all times, three shifts of four, and you and Addie will each have a bodyguard when you leave the property—they will be here all the time, and can help the others when you and Addie are home. She’s going to squawk like a wet hen when she finds out, but it is not negotiable.’

Returning his gaze to Orlando, he finished, ‘I will be so glad when this scumbag is back in jail where he belongs.’

Orlando nodded his agreement, and sighed. ‘I love my job, I can’t imagine ever doing anything else, but there are times I wish I was just another bloke on the streets.’

‘I hear you, man,’ replied Jimmy. ‘I have worked private security for well-known people, and the crazies I dealt with, well sometimes I wonder what happened to the human race. . .’

Addie didn’t waste words, ‘Frank or paparazzo?’

Jimmy shook his head. ‘Your guess is just as good as mine at this point. I pulled in some old favours, and I hope that this will end before he gets to wherever he is going. In the meantime I am not taking chances. I’ve hired Gavin de Becker’s firm for both property and personal security. There will be twelve guards on property at all times, rotating in eight hour shifts.

‘You and Orlando will have one security agent each, any time you leave the premises, NOT negotiable. When you and Lando are home, they will assist the property agents. You are NOT to give any agent a hard time, nor Orlando. I know this is hard on you, all the way around. It’s not exactly what I envisioned after coming home, but you know what? Life’s a bitch. You are alive and you have people that love you.’

‘Are you done? If you are then leave. I don’t want to talk to you right now.’ Addie was furious, hurt, and scared. She chose to act on the first emotion. Jimmy leveled a gaze at her, staring her down. When she looked away, he turned to leave. Orlando didn’t follow him.

‘Addie, look at me.’ Stubborn to the core, Addie refused, staring at the wall. Orlando was not going to let her win this one. He walked around the bed into her line of sight. When she started to turn her head the other way, he caught her face in his hands and, gently but firmly, turned her face to his.

‘Adrianna Marie Johnson, look at me NOW. You are acting like a whiny, spoilt baby, and in doing so you are hurting a man who loves you more than life. You WILL stop it, and that is NOT a suggestion. You are twenty-some years old, ACT LIKE IT ’ His voice softened then, ‘Where is the sassy smart-ass girl I met in the hospital? I want that Addie back.’ With that, he turned and left the room, leaving the door open so that she could summon someone should she need anything.

Left to her thoughts, Addie did the only thing she COULD do. She thought.

‘Hi girl, are you Addie? I’m Jimmy. Ms Serena talked about you all the time. I’m sorry she died; I really miss her too.’

Addie gazed up, at the 13 year old boy in front of her. To her eight years, he seemed so much older, but he wasn’t mean to her like the other boys she knew. She smiled shyly, showing a gap in her teeth, from where HE knocked out the tooth. She shivered, despite the summer’s heat, remembering that day all too well.

**Two and a Half months earlier**

She had gotten a big part in the school play, and she’d skipped home all the way, looking forward to telling Momma; maybe she would finally be proud of Addie. She skipped into the house and called out looking for Momma, but HE answered.

‘Your Ma’s not here, bitch, she went to the store. You make too much damn noise, go play or something.’

She should’ve listened then, Addie thought sadly. But she didn’t, she couldn’t—she was too excited!

‘But Frank, I’m gonna be in the school play ’ she said eagerly. She didn’t understand why he didn’t like her, but maybe this would even make HIM proud. Oh how wrong she was. . .

Frank transformed into Ugly Frank, shouting at her, ‘Didn’t I just tell you to get out of my fuckin’ sight?! What the fuck do I care if you are in a school play? Am I supposed to be PROUD of you?’ He sneered at the word proud. ‘Like I’d ever be proud of a kid that ain’t mine. You ain’t mine, bitch, and I don’t give a rat’s ass about you or your damn play.’

Crushed, Addie stared morosely at the floor, and started to turn to walk away.

WHAP!

The blow caught her by surprise, and the big ring on his hand caught her mouth. She could feel the skin split, and worse, she felt a hole where a tooth had been. She crumpled on the floor, sobbing, while Frank just laughed. ‘Fuckin’ cunt,’ he sneered. He gave her one solid kick to the ribs to drive his point home, and left her in a heap on the floor. Momma had come home with more beer. She glanced at Addie, clearly unconcerned.

When it was clear to Addie that Momma wasn’t going to come help her, she tried to stand, but the pain in her ribs made her woozy. She crawled to the bathroom, using the high edge of the claw-footed tub to pull herself to a semi-upright position. Her right arm clutched the ribs on the left side of her body. She dragged her little plastic stool over to the sink, so she could look in the mirror. She spat a mouthful of blood, and a tooth, into the sink, the bright red a stark contrast to the white porcelain. Gathering her courage, she lifted her shirt to look at her ribs. She didn’t know what exactly to look for, but the dark purple bruise was clear enough evidence that she was hurt. Momma opened the door just then, and Addie dropped her shirt quickly, and whirled around, collapsing from the sudden stabbing pain.

Momma picked her up, none too gently, and looked at her. Addie looked at Momma. She looked so old, and sad. In pictures Addie had seen, before HE burned them, she had seen that Momma had been really pretty. Now her hair was limp, her face pale and usually expressionless. The only expression she ever seemed to show anymore was annoyance or anger. She saw annoyance there now.

‘Adrianna, you know better than to talk to Pop when you come home. He doesn’t think children should talk, unless they get talked to first.’

Addie dropped her eyes to the ground. She shouldn’t be surprised that Momma took HIS side. She always did. Addie wondered why Momma loved him more than her. After all, her young mind reasoned, Momma had HER first.

Momma spoke again. ‘Addie, Serena died last week. The lawyer told me she gave me and Frank everything, so we’re moving to her house. We’ll move at the start of July, coupl’a months. I hope you won’t tell the new neighbours any more tales about you getting hurt. You know that you’re just uncoordinated and fall.’

Addie just stared at Momma. Momma didn’t even seem sad about Gramma dying. She supposed she shouldn’t have been surprised that Momma denied to herself that Frank hit her, but every time Momma said something like that, it hurt and shocked Addie to the core. Her heart ached with grief at the loss of Gramma, but she dared not cry. Crying was a sure way to get yelled at, sometimes even hit. Momma got up and walked out without another word; she didn’t even ask if Addie was okay.

Climbing back up on her stool, she opened the medicine cabinet, looking for the big brown bottle that Gramma had called ‘perdoxite.’ She didn’t know what it was, but she remember that Gramma had poured some on her knee last summer. She said that it killed germs that would make her sick if they got in her scrapes.

After she found the perdoxite she climbed down for something to pour it on—she didn’t know a lot, but she wasn’t gonna just pour it on her lip. She started to reach for a washcloth, but stopped. If she got blood on it, she’d get slapped, or worse, for sure. She grabbed a wad of toilet paper, and balled it up. She poured a little perdoxite on it, careful not to make a mess—they weren’t allowed either.

Sighing, she carefully dabbed it on her lip, wincing when the wet paper made contact with the split skin. She kept dabbing ‘til there wasn’t any more new blood coming out. She flushed the tissue, and went to her room; she had to think of a convincing lie to tell them Monday at school.

She stayed there ‘til bedtime, not even daring venture out to see if she could find some cereal or crackers for supper. The thought of trying to eat with her lip sore and swollen made her face hurt again.

She turned off her light and crawled under the covers, still dressed, her whole side aching. But it was her chest that hurt the worst. She wondered if you really could die of a broken heart. Finally, she let the tears fall, sobbing into her pillow.

After a few minutes, Jim wiped his eyes, and turned, mimicking Orlando’s position. The two men looked at each other, each understanding the other’s feelings. Finally, Jim broke the silence.

‘She’s been through so much, and she just keeps getting hit with more. I don’t know how much more she could take. Hell, I don’t know how much more I can take, and I’m not the one going through it. She needs to talk to someone, she can’t possibly hold this all in. She won’t talk to me, she doesn’t want me to know she can’t take on the world all by herself.’

‘She might open up to Sam,’ offered Orlando. Seeing the puzzled look on his mate’s face he explained, ‘remember that my sister is flying in tomorrow, well, today now, since it’s after midnight. I swear Sam could get a mute talking,’ he finished with a half-hearted laugh.

Jimmy pondered that, recalling that as often as he talked about Addie, Orlando talked about Samatha just as much. From what he remember Lando telling him, Sam and Addie were rather similar, and Addie might just pick up on that and open up. Finally he stood.

‘I need to get some sleep. I’ve been going nearly 36 hours, and am rather useless if I don’t get sleep. Viggo said he would be in sometime after 1 am, and de Becker’s agents will be here around 9 am. I need to be up then, to go to the airport. Their photos and bios were faxed to me after I made the call and hired them; I need to make sure that the agents we get are exactly who they’re supposed to be.’

Orlando stood and gave Jim a tight hug. Without saying a word, Lando conveyed support and understanding to his friend. With a soundless ‘thanks’ Jim headed off to bed. Just as Orlando sat down, the door opened, and Viggo stepped in, looking as exhausted as Jim.

‘How are things?’ the older man enquired.

‘Quiet for the moment. Jimmy’s security teams are arriving around 9 am, and Sam gets in around supper time. Addie is taking the bodyguard thing hard, Jimmy’s been up and going straight through for 36 hours, he finally went to bed.’ He opened his mouth to continue, but heard a whimper and cry from Addie’s room.

Taking off like a rocket, he knelt next to her, judging by the whimpers and the thrashing of her head that she was having a nightmare. Scooping her up in his arms, he lay down, holding her close. Her whimpers soon subsided and, with a small sigh, she nestled her forehead against his chest, his chin resting on top of her head. With a sigh of his own, Orlando drifted off as well, more exhausted than he realised.

A short six hours later, Jimmy woke him asking if he wanted to accompany him to the airport.

‘I’d rather stay with Addie, mate, but call my cell if you need me.’ Jimmy bade him farewell, and Orlando turned back to Addie, her eyes open but sleepy.

‘Morning, sleeping beauty,’ he whispered, brushing his lips over her forehead. Addie smiled, but almost immediately it became a frown. ‘Why the frowny face, luv?’

‘I just don’t understand how you can be so wonderful to me when I’ve been so horrid these past few days.’ Her bottom lip trembled, and tears threatened to spill over.

Wiping her tears away with his thumbs, he smiled at her. ‘I know that the person you’ve been these past couple days isn’t the person you ARE, luv. Jim talked so much about you while we were filming that I felt I knew you almost as well as I do my own sister.’ Addie started to speak, but Orlando cut her off.

‘Let me say this, love. I know that you are scared, frustrated, angry, and depressed. Remember, I have been in the same spot as you, almost literally. I have felt the emotions: the fear, the worry, the anger. I’ve felt it all, but I know you are a survivor. You didn’t make it this far to let an injury stop you. But don’t lose faith. It’s okay to feel these emotions, but don’t let them define you.

‘Use the anger, the frustration, to get better. Those are two powerful emotions, use them right, and they are also useful emotions. Right now you are letting them hold you back; don’t fight them, accept them and use them. Anger can either sap your energy, or it can provide it.’ Understanding dawned in her eyes; and she smiled, the first real smile he had seen from her since they first talked when they were in Albany.

‘Can I ask you for a favour, Orlando?’

‘What would you like love?’

‘Food. Something I have to chew, not just drink through a damned straw!’

Laughing, he scooped her up. ‘Your wish is my command, love. For the lovely lady, it will be breakfast in. . . well not quite in bed, I’m going to bring you to the sitting room, but ‘tis still a reasonable facsimile,’ replied a grinning Orlando. ‘Welcome back to the land of the living, honey.’