In Sickness and In Health

‘Shaoey!’

‘Orlando, I can’t talk. I told you, I have THREE babies to deliver.’

‘Yeah, well so do WE!’

‘What?!’

‘Lynn’s in labour, the road buckled in the last quake, so we can’t get her out of here, and can’t get emergency in. Shaoey this is YOUR job, NOT MINE!!’ Orlando’s voice was panicky.

‘Oh dear god.’

‘Uh YEAH!!’

‘All right, let me talk to Viggo,’ Shaoey ordered.

‘Shao?!’ Viggo was slightly less panicked sounding than Orlando, but not by much.

‘Okay Viggo. You need to calm down. Were you there when Henry was born?’

‘Yes, but all I did was hold Exene’s hands!’

‘Calm down Vig,’ Shaoey soothed. ‘This will go better if all of you are calm, Lynn included. Now, did her water break, if so when?’

‘Yeah, uh. . . about 20 minutes ago, now.’

‘Okay, do you know how to time her contractions? From the end of one to the start of the next?’

‘Uh. . . that sounds familiar. Hang on one’s starting!’

When Viggo reported the start of the next Shaoey checked the times. Seven minutes. Shit!

‘Okay Vig, she is probably close to delivery. You guys are gonna have to catch the babies.’

‘Uh, catch?’

‘That’s what it’s called hun. I can’t talk you through the whole process, but listen carefully: When the head comes out, make sure to clear to nose and mouth. If you don’t have a bulb, you’ll have to use your fingers to clear the nose and mouth. When the head comes out, put your hand under it to support it. DON’T pull. Wrap the babies in something warm. Fleece or flannel is best.

‘Don’t have her try to deliver laying down. Gravity is a mother’s best friend. For a home birth she can sit up, slightly reclined until delivery is imminent, then you should put her on her knees. Massage the perineum–the skin between the vagina and anus, it can tear if you don’t.

‘To cut the cord, you’ll need something like a shoelace to tie around it. For three babies you’ll need six pieces. Make two ties, starting about two to three inches from the babies belly, and using a sharp knife or scissor, cut between the ties. Make sure the ties are very tight first.

‘Anything seems wrong, or if the baby is breech, call me and have them page me as an emergency. Lynn can help you too, she’s read a lot on midwifery and home birthing, but keep her calm. Good luck and give Orlando my love.’ With that she rang off.

‘Viggo?’ Orlando’s voice broke through his shocked silence.

‘Uh, she said she loves you. All right, fleece or flannel. . .’ Viggo strode to the closet, pulling out several flannel shirts. ‘Hun,’ he turned to Lynn, who was resting between contractions. Do we have a. . . bulb? To clean their mouth and noses. . .’

Lynn nodded, ‘Medicine cabinet in this bathroom.’

‘I’ll get it,’ said Dom, hurrying off.

‘She said you’d be a lot of help, angel. You’ve done a lot of reading on this. . .’

Lynn nodded wearily. ‘Thought I’d have a midwife guiding me though,’ she laughed. ‘It’s all so much to remember now.’

‘She did say you shouldn’t try to deliver lying down. She suggested up. . .’

‘On my knees. Yeah, I remember that now. Oh!’ she cried, another contraction starting. Viggo held her hand while she focussed on breathing.

Just then Dom returned with the bulb and a handful of towels. ‘Thought these might be useful too.’

‘Thanks, man,’ said Viggo. Looking at his watch he noticed the contractions were becoming more frequent and they appeared to be gaining intensity as well. ‘Babe, why don’t we get you ready. Um, you can’t deliver with your pants on,’ he pointed out.

Billy, Dom, and Orlando looked at each other, then at Viggo. ‘Umm, should we leave, mate?’ Dom asked.

Viggo looked at his wife. ‘I don’t care honey,’ she replied. ‘Might be good to have more hands around, but only if you guys are comfortable,’ she added, speaking directly to them.

‘I’m okay with it,’ said Orlando.

‘Aye, me too.’

‘I’m in,’ said Dom.

‘Okay then, let’s deliver some babies!’ Viggo exclaimed, drawing laughter from his wife and friends.

Orlando, energetic as ever, bounced over to Viggo with a soft towel to dry the baby with. Billy was busy cutting shoelaces to tie the babies’ umbilical cords.

Viggo, recalling Shaoey’s directions, supported his new baby’s head gently, without pulling. With a low moan, Lynn announced the arrival of a new set of contractions, and the baby’s shoulders appeared. A few moments later he was holding his new son in his hands, tears streaming down his face.

Raymond Lee Mortensen, in honour of Lynn’s brother, was too busy looking at his new surroundings to cry. New mom had lain down to rest and regroup while waiting for her next child to put in his or her appearance.

Viggo tied the cord, making sure that both ties were tight and secure before making the cut that would separate baby and mum for the first time. Gently, reverently even, Viggo wrapped his new son in one of his soft flannel shirts. Lynn was about to take the baby–Viggo hadn’t yet told her his idea for the name–from him, but felt another contraction starting.

Orlando gave Viggo the next towel and took Raymond from him so that he could focus on his wife. Dom captured on video the look on Orlando’s face as he held the minutes old infant, pure awe and wonder.

The next baby, a girl, came more easily than her brother, and soon Billy too had a baby in his arms–his look no less awed than that of his friend’s–as the last baby decided it wanted out NOW and didn’t think Mummy needed a breather.

Soon all babies and placenta had been delivered, and Viggo cleaned Lynn up and settled her in to rest.

‘Two boys and a girl, angel. I’d like to name one son Raymond Lee,’ he said, holding her.

‘Viggo, God, I don’t. . . I’d love that. . . and so would my brother I bet,’ she said through her tears. ‘I’d like to name our daughter Patricia Grace, after our Mums.’

Viggo smiled beautifully. ‘Done. Now we need one last name for our other son.’

She thought for a moment and smiled. ‘What about. . .’ she leant over and whispered in his ear.

He smiled. ‘I think that’s a terrific idea, angel ’

Dom poked his head in. ‘Hey come on in man,’ said Viggo. ‘Bring the others too.’

Dom brought the camera back in. Followed by Billy and Orlando with the first two babies. ‘Have you named them yet?’ asked Dom.

‘Yeah. The one Orlando’s got is Raymond Lee, our daughter is Patricia Grace, and this is Dominic William Orlando Mortensen.’

‘After us? But. . . why?’ Orlando stammered.

‘Because you helped us. You didn’t have to. You could’ve hidden out in the other room, and no one would’ve blamed you. Because you’re my–our–best mates and have done more for us than you will likely ever know.’

Orlando smiled at the answer. ‘Oh! Hey I gotta call Shaoey!’

‘Dr McGovern.’

‘Shao! They had em! Two boys and a girl Raymond Lee, Patricia Grace, and Dominic William Orlando! God, Shaoey it was amazing. . . I can’t believe you do this all the time. . .’ he trailed off, his voice wistful. ‘Makes me want a family more than ever.’

‘Well. . . Uh, that might happen baby. . .’

‘Huh?!’

‘I missed my period, I’ve been tired, and haven’t felt well. I had to wait to this coming weekend before I could take a test though. But, I think we’ll be giving Viggo’s and Lynn’s kids a playmate.’

‘Oh. . . my. . . OH MY GOD SHAOEY!’ Orlando became even more animated, and Shaoey didn’t have to see him to know he was smiling like a damned fool.

‘Baby, I love you, but they just called me to C-Section someone. I’ll talk to you later.’ She rang off quickly, leaving Orlando standing in the kitchen grinning at the phone in his hands.

Dom came in curious. ‘What’s the yelling about mate?’

‘Shaoey–oh my god. She thinks. . . thinks she’s. . . oh my god. I think I’m gonna be a dad!’

Dom’s handsome face split into a huge grin. ‘That’s fantastic mate!!’

Viggo and Billy came out with the babies, just in time to hear the news. ‘Congrats, Orlando,’ grinned Viggo, balancing his sons on his chest against his shoulders.

Billy was happy for his friends, but felt a wee bit jealous, if he were to be honest. He was close to Viggo’s age, and his relationship with his girlfriend had failed some months earlier. Orlando noticed the wistful look. ‘What’s wrong mate? Single life got you in the doldrums?’

‘Aye,’ Billy replied quietly.

‘Want to know a secret? Shao was gonna try to play matchmaker with her friend Monica and you. Monica doesn’t know, she’s, uh, she’s a fan, so we were going to wait til you two had met to see though.’

Billy smiled, touched that his friends were thinking of him and concerned about him as well.

‘Thanks mate, it means a lot.’

The front door slammed shut then, and the men stared at the person who had come in, open-mouthed.

‘How did you get here son? The road’s out!’

‘I walked, Mom brought me as far as she could, about a mile down, and I walked the rest. I was worried about you and Lynn.’ Henry was sweating and filthy, with more than a few scrapes and cuts.

‘Jesus son, I’m glad you’re here, but you’re HURT!’

‘Dad, it’s cool. I fell a couple times, hit some loose patches that shifted.’ Suddenly he noticed the babies. ‘She had them?! COOL! But who delivered them? Dr M isn’t here?’

Viggo grinned. ‘I “caught” them, and Dom, Billy, and Orlando helped. And of course Lynn herself was a big help. Seems she knows more about childbirth than we thought.’

‘Wow. . . my. . . oh are they boys or girls?’

‘Two boys, Raymond Lee and Dominic William Orlando, and a girl, Patricia Grace.’

‘God I have brothers and a sister,’ his eyes were wide with wonder, as he stared at his sister, in Billy’s arms. Gently, as though afraid she would break, he stroked her cheek. Reflexively she turned her head and started to suck on his finger.

‘Here lad, meet your baby sister.’ Billy said, handing Henry the baby.

‘I. . . but. . . I never. . . how do I. . .’ His voice was shaky, his eyes panicky. Billy grinned and helped the boy hold his sister. Patricia seemed content in her brother’s arms, for she sighed and went to sleep.

Dom had quietly taken up the video camera and was recording the first meeting between brother and sister. Viggo sat down by his eldest son, shoulders touching, as Henry met his two brothers. Billy took Baby Dominic from Viggo, his arms felt empty since giving up Patricia to Henry.

When the phone rang, the men jumped, startled. Orlando, the only one with free hands presently, answered.

‘Shaoey! What’s up love. . . uh-huh. . . okay. . . right. . . what did they. . . okay. . . so about three hours? Right, yeah I understand. . . okay love, I’ll tell them. Rest when you can, and I’ll see you soon. I love you too.’

He turned back to the group. ‘She called to let rescue services know we were up here. She had to drop names, of course,’ rolling his eyes for emphasis, ‘to get them to come up here. They told her three hours but we have to meet them at the access road.’

Viggo groaned. ‘And we are supposed to do that with three infants only hours old, and a woman who JUST delivered those infants? ¡Tiene cojones!’

Henry handed his sister to Orlando, and turned. ‘We can do it dad. It won’t be easy, and we’ll have to be real careful cos of the babies, but we can do it. It might be easier now because I’ve already been across once.’

‘How long will it take you think Henry?’ asked Orlando.

‘With Lynn and the babies, maybe a couple hours to get to the access road.’

‘All right, let’s get things set to go. Viggo, you still have your hiking packs?’ Billy asked. Viggo nodded. ‘Load them with water, a couple blankets, diapers, anything the babies will need. We’ll probably be able to come back up in a day or so, hiking across the buckled road of course.’ Viggo set off to do as asked. ‘Henry, you’re going to have a big responsibility. We need the easiest but safest path across that roadway.’ Henry nodded.

‘Orlando and I can each carry a baby, and if you take the other, then Viggo will be able to help Lynn,’ Dom suggested.

Billy nodded thoughtfully. ‘Sounds like we have a plan then, mates. Now, didn’t we get them those carriers that hold the wee ones to your chest? Snuggli or some such thing?’

Orlando nodded. ‘Yeah cos it was one from each of us.’ He set off to find Viggo and inquire about the Snugglis.

The group met back in the sitting room less than 45 minutes after making the plans. Lynn looked tired, but seemed in otherwise good condition. Billy, Dom, and Orlando each donned a baby carrier and baby, strapping the infants to their chests. Viggo shouldered the heavier of the two hiking packs, and Henry took the other. They set off within minutes.

Orlando looked at the group, looked at the roadway, and laughed.

‘What’s so funny there Elfboy?’ growled Viggo.

‘Just feel like we’re back in the Fellowship. Nine of us, and we’ve just set off on a mission almost impossible,’ he grinned, drawing laughs from the others.

‘Well, let’s hope there are no Orcs in this adventure; also that it is a bit less deadly than the last, yeah?’ Dom added, unexplainedly worried, as though he knew what was to come.

Viggo went last, very close to Lynn, to support her. He was worried that this was too much so soon after she gave birth, and her quickly waning energy did nothing to ease his mind. She stumbled at one point, landing on her hands and knees. When she didn’t stand up right away, Viggo stooped down beside her. He noticed her face was beyond pale, chalk white even, and she was breathing hard and sweating profusely despite a rather cool air temperature.

‘C’mere love,’ he whispered, pulling her up against him. With his arms around her, she was able to continue up the broken asphalt. They reached the group several minutes later.

‘Can one of you manage my pack as well as the baby? I’m going to carry her. This is too much for her.’

Dom took his friends pack, and Viggo picked his wife up carefully, alarmed at how limp she seemed.

The group was in sight of the roadway when Viggo felt a dampness on his arm and stomach. Looking down his alarm became full blown panic. ‘¡Mierdas! Orlando will your cell phone work here?’

Orlando checked, ‘Probably, why?’

‘Lynn’s bleeding. Badly! Call Shao!’

Orlando hit speed dial, and, when the hospital operator told him she was busy, yelled that ‘it’s a fucking goddamned emergency!’ followed by threats of lawsuits if his friend died because of her. His friends stared. Viggo couldn’t remember ever seeing Orlando that angry.

‘Shaoey, oh thank god. Lynn’s bleeding, a lot, she’s white, like chalk white, and she’s out cold, and we’re here waiting for the pick-up and dammit she looks like she’s dying!’

He looked about to say something else, but his jaw snapped shut, and he listened for what seemed like forever. ‘Okay, okay hang on.’ To Viggo he said, ‘We gotta get to the pick up spot. She’s radioing them about Lynn, they’ll med-evac her from the nearest place a heliocopter can land. She said keep Lynn’s pelvis at a level higher than the rest of her body. There’s nothing. . .’ He paused, choking on the words, ‘nothing else we can do. Just pray she said.’

‘Like I’ve been doing anything else mate.’