In Sickness and In Health

‘Judging by the test results, I’d say at least twins, probably triplets,’ the doctor, Shaohannah McGovern announced.

Viggo and Lynn were in awe at the news. ‘Does that explain why she’s so violently ill? I get worried sometimes. . .’ Viggo said.

‘That probably is why she reacts so strongly. In addition to pre-natal vitamins, I am also giving you an anti-emetic that is safe for pregnant women. In fact it was designed specifically FOR pregnant women. The extreme vomitting concerns me too Mr Mortensen. Especially with her history of a serious illness not too long ago. Eight or nine months ago was it?’

The couple nodded.

‘Because of that, your previous miscarriage, and it being a primagravida multiple birth, I’m going to put you in the high risk category, Lynn. I know you want a midwife, but at the moment, I don’t see it being a good idea. I’m sorry.’

Lynn nodded. ‘I understand. If that’s the worst thing that happens in the next 9 months I’ll be happy.’

Dr McGovern smiled. ‘I like patients like you. I can see you won’t be whining your way through this. Now, I want to see you again in two weeks, to make sure you are doing all right. You can schedule your first ultrasound for 4 weeks from now.’

Stopping at the desk, Viggo looked at his fiancée. ‘What’s a prima. . . ?’

‘Primagravida. A woman having her first baby. Miscarriages don’t count, apparently.’

They scheduled the two appointments, and paid the bill. Lynn had no insurance, and couldn’t be added to Viggo’s Screen Actors’ Guild coverage until after they were married.

She sighed. Viggo looked over, starting the car. ‘Babe?’

‘I just have this bad feeling, that this is going to be a VERY long nine months. Honey, I think we need to get married soon. I can’t explain it, but. . .’

‘I was going to suggest that. We can get married now, and have the wedding after. Me, you, a judge, the guys, Henry and Hannah. How’s that?’

‘Don’t forget Mum and Ray,’ she whispered.

‘And Mum and Ray,’ he smiled, taking her hand. ‘I love you, precious.’

She smiled, the laughed. At his inquisitave look she simply said, ‘Precious, Gollum.’

He laughed. ‘You are more precious than any ring, ever forged, more than any diamond, anywhere. I love you, Lynn.’ She squeezed his hand, and laid her head back, falling asleep.

He gazed at her profile when he wasn’t driving, which frankly was a lot, this IS LA and it IS rush hour, he groaned. She looked a little pale, which concerned him. He was getting those prescriptions filled this very day

Dr McGovern saw her in the waiting area, and she too became concerned. Her redness might indicate hypertension, high blood pressure, and although she had a small pregnant tummy, the doctor would swear Lynn had lost weight.

‘Betty, do I have anything free after Lynn Brown’s ultrasound?’ she asked the scheduling receptionist.

‘You just had a last minute cancellation, Shao.’

‘Put Lynn in that spot. Keep me free til I see her. She’s priority at this point.’

She walked to the front desk. ‘Mr Mortensen,’ she called out. When he approached her, she saw the fatigue and worry in his eyes. ‘Stay here after the ultrasound. I just put Lynn as an appointment for 15.30. I’m worried about her.’

He nodded. ‘Me too. You must have read my mind, I was going to try to get her in with you or one of your colleagues today or tomorrow. Thanks, doctor.’ She nodded and smiled.

‘It’ll be okay Mr Mortensen.’

‘Will it?’ The two words, and the crack in his voice belied his calm exterior.

‘It will. I’ve never lost a patient, and only a small handful of babies in almost ten years. She will be fine, even if I have to see her every three days, I will make sure of it.’

Viggo nodded his appreciation, words so seldom failed him–the last time he was this hard up for what to say was when he won the Award.

‘What was that about?’ a fatigued Lynn asked.

‘Dr M wants to see you after the ultrasound. You have an appointment for 15.30 now.’

Lynn nodded quietly. Viggo’s heart twisted. He missed his energetic, joyous Lynn. She was always so tired and ill now that it scared him.

‘Brown?’ called the nurse. Viggo stood and helped Lynn up, supporting her as she walked. They got her situated on the table, and the sonographer came in.

‘Hi Lynn, I’m Andi. I’ll be your sonographer. Sorry the gel’s a little cool today,’ the woman apologised.

‘S’ok,’ Lynn murmured.

Andi looked at her lethargic state, and looked at Viggo. Choosing not to say anything until she had her results, she turned the machine on. Viggo stood by Lynn’s head, one hand stroking her hair, and the other holding her cool hand.

The sonographer checked various views and printed several pictures. When she finished wiping to blue goo off, she asked to speak to Viggo privately.

Stepping into her ‘office,’ more of a closet really, Andi closed the door. ‘I have good news, and bad news. The good news is that Lynn has three viable fetuses. The bad news is that she has one that isn’t viable. The heart rate was sluggish, and it is underdeveloped. I suspect that’s why she looks so terrible right now.’

Dr McGovern poked her head in. ‘Hey Andi, can I get in on this discussion? I just saw her results.’ Andi nodded.

‘Mr Mortensen, Lynn’s body is trying to support one dying fetus. That’s why she is so tired and ill. The other three are healthy, but they won’t stay that way long. Resources that they need will be shunted to the dying fetus–her body’s attempt to save it.’

Viggo sighed, his stomach in knots, heart aching. ‘What can we do?’

‘As much as I hate to say, there is only one choice.’ Andi was looking at the floor. Shao wished she could. Looking into Viggo’s eyes she delivered the kind of news she hated almost more than any other. ‘You have to convince her to abort the dying fetus.’

‘Lynn, CALM DOWN!’ Viggo commanded. Stunned, she fell back against the pillow, drained. ‘Baby, I’m not happy with it either. But do you want to kill three babies that COULD live to save one that will probably die anyways?’

Lynn flinched, as though she’d been slapped. ‘No,’ she whispered, her voice barely audible.

‘Baby, I love you. I love our babies. I don’t want this anymore than you. If there was ANY other option, Dr McGovern WOULD have told us.’

‘Okay,’ she sighed, this word even quieter than the one before. ‘I’ll do it.’ Tears flowed then, and Viggo felt his wall crumble too. Gathering her in his arms, he held her. Both crying, for a life lost before it began. That was where they were when Shao found them.

‘Mr Mortensen?’

‘We’ll do it,’ he muttered, dejectedly.

‘All right. Let me go have them clear my schedule and book an operating theatre. This is an emergency, sadly.’ She shook her head. ‘These are the cases I hate.’

An hour later, Viggo was pacing in the waiting area when Orlando and Dom sprinted in. He had called Henry, who called Orlando, who called everyone else. Dom was at Orlando’s house, and they were closest to the hospital. Billy, Lij and Hannah, Seans A and B, and Henry would be arriving soon.

He saw Orlando and Dom and his last resistance failed. He collapsed into his friends’ arms. They manoeuvered him to the sofa, and sat him down, Dom on his left, Orlando on his right. He buried his face in his hands, elbows on his knees, and sobbed. Sean B walked in soon after, and knelt down in front of his friend, putting his arms around him. The four men remained that way until Dr McGovern stepped in.

‘Do you want us to leave Viggo?’ Dom asked. He shook his head.

‘You don’t mind me giving you the update with your friends here then?’

‘It’s fine, doctor, go ahead.’

‘Lynn came through it fine. There are three viable fetuses that ought to grow into three healthy babies. It was actually worse than I had thought. The fourth fetus was attached to its twin. The division of cells became mutated, which prevented this from growing much further. I don’t know if it will put your mind at ease any, but the aborted fetus would not have survived, regardless.’

Viggo nodded. He still hurt, but knowing that it was inevitable. . . he didn’t feel so guilty. ‘Lynn?’ He asked

‘In recovery. She’ll stay here tonight and tomorrow, and barring complications, I’ll release her day after tomorrow at 09.00. I’ll have the nurse come get you when she wakes up. I’ll try to arrange for a cot to be placed by her bed so you can stay if you wish.’

Viggo nodded, with a ghost of a smile. ‘Thanks doctor.’

His other friends, and his son, arrived at that time pouring into the small waiting area. Dom and Sean moved so that Henry could sit with his dad, who wrapped an arm around him. Father and son held each other and cried.

Viggo jumped up. ‘Ms Brown is awake and asking for you and someone named. . . Henry?’

Viggo nodded. ‘My son,’ he replied, indicating Henry.

‘Okay, you two may go in. No one else til she is in her room. It’s up to the floor staff how many at a time will be allowed in then.’

Viggo nodded his thanks and following the nurse’s directions, he and Henry found Lynn. Viggo sucked in his breath. God how pale she looked! He took her hand, warmer now than it had been in ultrasound he noticed, and kissed her forehead.

‘Hey baby girl,’ he whispered. She smiled weakly. ‘How you feelin’ angel?’

‘Hurts,’ she mouthed. Her throat was raw from the breathing tube she’d had in her throat.

‘I know, baby. I wish I could take it away angel.’

She sighed and closed her eyes. ‘You can go sit if you want, son. She’ll be out for awhile.’

Henry vehemently shook his head. ‘No way Dad. She’s part of the family. I wouldn’t leave if it was Mom. I’m not leaving for Lynn.’

Viggo smiled at his son and reached over to cup his face, something he hadn’t done in years; it usually embarrased Henry. This time Son put his hand over Dad’s, and smiled. A new milestone had been reached.

‘You’ve turned out so well, Henry,’ said Viggo, emotion thick in his voice. ‘So grown up.’

Henry blushed and dropped his eyes, but still held his father’s hand. ‘You did have a hand in that Dad.’

Viggo looked morose. ‘Not as much as I should have. I should’ve been around more and. . .’

Henry interrupted, ‘Dad, I understand. I never held it against you.’

‘But I. . . New Zealand. . .’

‘Dad, surely you aren’t so old your memory is going? I wanted you to take that role. I knew it meant you’d be gone for a long time. You told me the night we talked about it. Yeah it sucked having you across the planet for more than a year. But it made you happy. Don’t sweat it!’

Viggo pondered this. Henry HAD encouraged him to take the role, certainly. And Viggo did remember telling Henry about the time commitment. He sighed. ‘When did you get to be so damn wise?’ he muttered.

Henry laughed delightedly. ‘I had the two best teachers. You and Mom. . . Speaking of Mom. . .’

Viggo turned. Exene was framed in the doorway. ‘I’ll be right back, stay with Lynn.’ Henry nodded and Viggo walked out.

Exene cleared her throat nervously. ‘Look Viggo. . . I know we haven’t always gotten along. But I meant what I said about Lynn. Henry adores her, talks about her all the time. She’s got something about her, something special. Henry called tonight, before he left for hospital, which is how I knew to come here. I wanted to make sure that all of you are okay, including Lynn. If she needs anything, tell her she can call me. . .?’ Viggo nodded, shocked.

‘I know how scary being a mother can be. I had family I could turn to. From what Henry said, you and he, plus your friends, are the only family she has. She’s going to need someone to turn to,’ she finished quietly.

‘Thank you, Exene,’ he whispered. She nodded silently and smiled at him, before turning to leave. She paused. ‘You know Viggo, that also goes for you,’ she said, before she walked away.

‘I love you angel,’ he whispered.

She hugged him back weakly. ‘Love you too.’

‘Baby, we need to talk about this.’ She shook her head. ‘Yes, angel, we do.’

She tried to get up, struggling when he held her back against him. ‘Let me up ’

‘Not until we talk about this This is the type of thing than can fuck up relationships. I don’t want to lose you over this. I know you’re hurting, but so am I goddamnit ’

She wrenched away from him and fled to the bedroom, slamming the door behind her. Viggo sighed, dropping his head. ‘Well THAT went well ’ he muttered. He sat there for a moment then stood. ‘Haven’t got much more to lose,’ he thought to himself.

He let himself into the bedroom. She heard him come in but didn’t move. She was curled up on their bed, hugging his pillow tightly, crying. He sighed softly, and moved over to the bed.

‘Lynn,’ he started. Her only response was to clutch the pillow tighter. Kicking off his shoes, he climbed onto the bed behind her and wrapped his arms around her. ‘Baby, don’t shut me out, please. Talk to me angel.’ His voice was roughened by unshed tears.

She turned over, burying her face against his chest. ‘I guess that’s a start,’ he thought. He rubbed her back gently, long soothing strokes. Tears spilt over his eyelid, sliding gently down his cheeks. When one of his tears landed on her cheek, she looked up in surprise.

Seeing the torment on his face, she cursed herself. He had been suffering doubly, from the loss of his baby, and from her shutting him out. She reached up her hand to cup his face. ‘I’m sorry,’ she whispered. ‘It’s okay baby. I know you’re hurting, I just want to be here for you. It’s hard when you shut me out, angel. Please talk to me; please let me help you ’

She drew a great shuddering breath, and paused before speaking. ‘I shut you out because I didn’t know what to say, what to feel, or think. I can deal in facts no problem, but emotions. . . well beyond love and joy, I don’t do well with emotions. I don’t even do those really well.’

He sighed. ‘I’m not really sure I know what you mean angel. Doesn’t everyone have emotions?’

‘I have them, I just don’t know how to express them. I told you I never grieved for my mum. I didn’t know how. I still don’t. I hurt inside, feel like I am being ripped apart, but I don’t know how to express it.’ She finished on a sob.

‘That’s how angel. Cry, let me hold you, tell me what you feel. If you keep everything bottled up inside it will kill you.’

She sighed, and snuggled closer to him. ‘I love you Viggo,’ she whispered. ‘I’m sorry for shutting you out. Help me learn to feel.’

He smiled at her, ‘You got it babe.’ He pressed his lips to her forehead. ‘You got it,’ he whispered into her hair, holding her tight.